Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
