shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there was a trapeze. enough said
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
