I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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