i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
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Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Drake has all the answers
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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