So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
