Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
