we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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