I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
