We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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