She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
