He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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