Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
