I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
