Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
