Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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