yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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