So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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