Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
