around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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