Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
