hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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