I feel great
I just peed on a car
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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