and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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