Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
