Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
