I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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