I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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