Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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