Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
