i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
