I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
either way he was missing a nipple.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
