Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize