kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize