Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Randomize
