But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
