used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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