I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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