dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
