bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
worst night to have a conscience
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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