Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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