I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
