Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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