TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
