Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I yelled at your uterus for you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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