he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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