ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
