the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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