good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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