Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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