I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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