Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize