HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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