someone threw a dead crab at me
I have demons in me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My penis needs a shock collar
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
