She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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