the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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