It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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