this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
