Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize