I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
