You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
