i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
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so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
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I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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