they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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